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Darn it, we had a record going so far this school year. No late notes yet!

Last year, we had an all time record of 45 late notes.  I know.  Scandalous.

This year, I swore things would be different.

Two kids.  Granted, two very slow moving kids.  Still, how hard could it be to get them to school on time?

Get. To. School. On. Time.  That was my very simple goal for the 2014/15 school year.  Doesn’t sound that hard, does it?

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Then we got a puppy, and all those good intentions went out the window. Life became a question of survival. I began to depend on caffeine like never before.  Coffee specifically – was my caffeine delivery vehicle of choice.

But that, my friends is a double-edged sword, and it precipitates a very nasty kind of vicious circle.  In my case, it goes something like this:

  • So tired, drink too much coffee the day before, get no sleep all night.
  • Puppy wakes up at crack of dawn to be let out to pee, I get up in comatose stupor, make way downstairs in dark, try not to fall down stairs, let puppy out, drink first cup of coffee for day.
  • Come back in, drink 2nd cup of coffee, sit staring into space for a while waiting for brain to wake from brain-dead state.
  • Start getting ready for day, set table, turn my back for 20 seconds to make lunches, puppy gets newspaper off kitchen table, rips it to shreds (Husband will be pissed). Better have another cup of coffee.
  • Get kids up etc…  Kids eat breakfast at glacial pace, somehow time is now 8.40am. Need to leave house by 9am to make the 9.15 bell.  Mainline another cup of coffee (lost count).  Experiencing heart palpitations from too much coffee.  Race around madly, yelling at kids to get ready, while I run upstairs to get dressed myself.
  • Everyone decamps kitchen (puppy central, fenced in by baby-gates in our house).  Bad move.  Puppy now thinks has carte blanche to amuse itself in kitchen.  Come back down to dog chewing cereal box, All-Bran spread over floor,  (go figure?)
  • I am now on downward swing of caffeine diagram above. “Feelings of Worthlessness” setting in.
  • 9.10am.  Scream at kids to come downstairs.  Will all have to run to make it to school on time.
  • Puppy pees on kitchen floor…again.  Now entering last stage of caffeine curve, in my case instead of psychotic rage, feel like crying.  Grab paper towels, place on floor to absorb pee.  Turn back to grab trash can and more paper towels, puppy grabs urine-soaked paper towels and races around kitchen with them in mouth.  Kids laugh in glee.
  • Distract puppy with treat, grab paper towels from its mouth and finish cleaning up kitchen floor.
  • Lure puppy into crate with ‘kibble’, grab kids, run down street to school.
  • Arrive at school 9.20am, playground deserted.  Damn, didn’t make it!  Hug kids, kids run down school path to school.
  • Feeling defeated, return home to clean up disaster zone, which is now my kitchen.
  • Did I mention school is at the end of my street?

Hope your school mornings are better than mine:)

xxx Alexa